Golf does not meet my definition of sport.  Sport requires great physical exertion.  Golf ranks right up there with chess, checkers and poker for physical exertion. Sliding a poker chip across the table just doesn't count as exertion. Sport requires defense.  In the sketch you see the stimie.  It is as close to defense as golf has ever had.  Of course the stimie has been ruled out as a tactic.  To be a sport an event must either feature either great exertion or defense.  Most sports include both but I'll settle for one.

Golf even lacks verbal defense.  The slightest noise or movement earns a petulant glare toward the offender.  A camera click is a great sin.  Can you imagine a golfer having to perform in front of Duke's Cameron Crazies?

Technology rules the game of golf unlike what happens in a true sport.  My first club had a wooden shaft.  Balls didn't jump off the club head.  Today shafts and club heads are nade of exotic materials even including things like titanium.  If basketball adopted the golf mentality the rim would be lowered to nine feet and it would be made twice as wide.

Golf balls found on a course. Four different sizes, two of which break the rules.

Golfers are honest, right?  These balls were "borrowed" from  a driving range and used on a local course.

Targeted advertising?


Golfers will tell you they play for fun, stress relief and exercise.  I guess that's why I have found all of these clubs and parts on my property located next
 to a golf course.  They are religious.  I hear  many shouts to various deities although I was surprised to learn  Jesus Christ apparently has a middle name.
We have found  small liquor bottles, beer cans and cigarette butts around the golf course. It's not a real sport if you can smoke and drink while doing it.